The Ugly Truth: Slogan T-Shirts

When I was in Year 7, I bought at Supre, (yes, thats right, Supre) a red t-shirt with a picture of a factory on it saying "The Stupid Factory: Where Boys Are Made". I thought it was hilarious but you have to understand that I also thought crimping my hair and Simple Plan were the coolest things ever, so there was obviously someone drugging me at the time. Thats one solution to my obvious lack of taste in clothes, hair and music. There is also another explanation- I was 12 when I bought this t-shirt.

Its around this time (Year 7) that kids start to open up their eyes to the world around them and gain opinions and when I did, it just seemed like the greatest idea to publish all my opinions on my chest. I think this was about the time that Supre started to mass produce girly slogan t-shirts (they haven't stopped 5 years later, I checked today). These t-shirts read every inane message from: 'If you think I'm a bitch, you should meet my mother/sister/best friend' etc to 'Princess Drama Queen' and every eloquent witticism in-between.


My best friend had one saying "BLONDE" across the chest (well of course it was written in glitter, its Supre, do you really have to ask?) and together with me and my Stupid Factory t-shirt we thought we were smokin'.


The thing is guys, its 5 years later, and I see these t-shirts still around. And the worst isn't on girls. Its on guys. Come on boys, its pretty easy to dress tastefully if you're male. Granted, Im not, but at least your choice of fashion mistakes is devoid of ultra mini-skirts, Harts dresses and ruched leggings. In all seriousness though (is this blog ever that serious?) its pretty easy to pick out a wardrobe thats not heinous* if you're a guy**.


(*heinous= tasteless slogan t-shirts.)


(**Im talking over the age of 16 here)


Jays Jays is pretty much the main culprit. It's where discarded Threadless designs go to die (not really, I'm sure they have some Judd Apatow-movie loving w**ker in the back room giggling at his creations). These days, Jays Jays seems to specialize in cheap, crass slogan t-shirts that either make you look ignorant, sleazy, alcoholic or a combination of the three.
Here are some prime examples:

(I think this comparison thing that I found is for the purposes of proving how Jays Jays has ripped off the brand/website T-Shirt Hell but its good for my purposes too)

If you can't read it, the top one says:

SAVE THE WALES-but first have sex with a sensitive guy in a 'Save The Wales' t-shirt.

I can see an immature slogan's potential as an ice-breaker/convosation starter in a club or at a party but come on guys, we all know that NONE of these slogans are EVER going to have the desired effect (getting a girl to sleep with you, someone buying you a drink etc) .

At the end of the night, the guy with the Save the Wales t-shirt is going home alone.

Even worse are these Jay Jays t-shirts which are awkward, stupid and useless icebreakers:

Labels like 'Miss Floozy', 'Little Miss Wasted' and 'Miss Bitch' are hardly attractive on a girl. Last time I checked, girls spend alot of time doing damage control to avoid being called these names, so why would you want to wear them on your chest?

I don't think anyone I know would want to be seen with a guy that calls/labels himself 'Mr. Pimp' or 'Mr. Agro'. Girls spend half their time trying to get away from the drunkest guy at the party without the added awkwardness of a labelled shirt and Im pretty sure that the 'Mr. Asshole' tee puts a whole new dimension to 'unapproachable'.

As for 'Mr. Well-Hung', girls have been taught from a young age that if a guy's boasting, there's probably not much downstairs so I don't know how on earth this shirt's going to help you pull.

On girls, the situation used to be alot worse though. My least favourite t-shirt of all time is the classic "MY FACE IS UP HERE" slogan, with an arrow pointing up. Just as bad is the "Yes. They're Real" tee.

Seeing girls wear these t-shirts makes me squirm with embarrassment. Why on earth do girls wear that shirt? Do they seriously think that people are staring at their chest so much that they have to blatantly advertise that-supposedly unwanted-attention on their chests? Thank god practically no one has that shirt anymore.

Before all you slogan wearing people get iffy and storm my house screaming 'burn the witch', let me say that not all slogan t-shirts are bad. For every cringe-worthy, crass Supre or Jays Jays t-shirt created there are hundreds of hilarious, actually clever slogan t-shirts born. Most of these, of course, are submitted or created to/by Threadless (yes, Im pretty much a slogan t-shirt snob). Im sure you'll all agree with me that reading a hilarious slogan will sometimes make your day.

Here are some of my favourite lines on a t-shirt:

-On a pink t-shirt on a guy: Keep Laughing, This Is Your Girlfriend's Shirt

-Under a picture of a mouse: A Wee Moose (say it was a Scottish accent)

-"I NFBSK on the first date" (dont know what NFBSK means? Neither did I heres the UrbanDictionary definition which makes the slogan hilarious)

Cheers for reading (I think Ive done enough b*****ing in this post to make up for no Ultra Naff)

-Beatrice